Question: Is it imperative to invite specifically a serious and learned rabbi to officiate at one’s wedding ceremony? I am already married and I wanted to know if there may be an issue with my Kiddushin (marital bond)?
Answer: Our Sages teach us in Masechet Kiddushin (6a): “Whoever is not an expert in Gittin or Kiddushin should not be involved with them.” This means that if one is not fluent with all of the laws and fine details of Kiddushin may not officiate at a wedding. Similarly, if one is not an expert in the laws of Gittin (divorce), one may not officiate at a divorce either.
The Reason for Caution with Regards to Kiddushin and Gittin
He reason why the laws of Chuppah, Kiddushin, and Gittin are so stringent is because a woman is forbidden to her husband until he marries her according to Torah law. Likewise, a woman is forbidden to all other men until she is halachically divorced. If the rabbi officiating at a wedding or divorce ceremony did not follow one of these intricate halachic details, the woman will thus be forbidden to her husband and they will be living their entire lives together in a forbidden manner or even worse, a woman may think she is divorced, when she is in fact still a married woman.
It is for this reason that only an authorized Bet Din (rabbinical court) may perform a divorce ceremony. Similarly, one should only take a rabbi who is known to have great fear of Heaven and fluent in Halacha to officiate at one’s wedding so that no errors emerge as a result.
An Incident Regarding a Reform Rabbi Who Requested Authorization from Maran Shlit”a
Once, a Reform “rabbi” came before Maran Shlit”a (at the time he was Chief Rabbi of Israel) and asked him, “Why do you discriminate? Why do you not authorize me to officiate at weddings? You allow everyone else besides for the Reform?”
Maran Shlit”a replied, “I do not discriminate at all. However, I can only give a license to officiate at a wedding to an individual who has been tested by me on the laws of Chuppah and Kiddushin. I will therefore write a list for you of all of the chapters of Shulchan Aruch that you must study; go learn them, come back and get tested by me, and you will then receive authorization to officiate at weddings.” When the Reform rabbi went home and saw how much material he was instructed to study for his test, interestingly enough, he never returned to be tested by Maran Shlit”a…
The Witnesses Must See the Act of Kiddushin
There is indeed a great problem common at weddings regarding the witnesses of the Kiddushin. One who is not fluent in Halacha believes that the witnesses must stand under the Chuppah but does not know that they must actually see the act of the Kiddushin. Sometimes, the photographer even yells at the witnesses and tells them that they are in his way and are blocking his shots; by doing so, the witnesses do not see the act of Kiddushin. Another somewhat common error is the people invite relatives to act as witnesses and in this way, completely invalidate the Kiddushin.
Maran Shlit”a has recounted how he has performed another Chuppah and Kiddushin ceremony for couples a day after their wedding, so as not to shame them publicly. Thankfully, these couples have the sense to inquire about the status of their Kiddushin a day after the wedding. Nevertheless, there are many couples who do not ask and they live their entire married lives in a forbidden manner, G-d-forbid.
Witnesses Who Are Not Religiously Observant
It is also imperative to make sure that the witnesses one invites are valid not only with regards to relation but with regards to their righteousness, for if the witnesses are not Torah and Mitzvot observant, their testimony is invalid. When a divorce ceremony is being held in Bet Din, only special individuals, whom the Bet Din knows to be righteous and G-d-fearing, are invited to serve as witnesses. Before the Get (bill of divorce) is written, the head of the Bet Din calls them over and exclaims, “Let us repent, lest we be invalid as a result of sin.” They then proceed to recite Viduy (confessional prayer) in the event that they have sinned and forgot about the incident.
Honoring the President to Serve as a Witness
There are individuals who are not learned in Torah and invite people who are invalid witnesses to serve as witnesses of the Kiddushin. Once, Maran Shlit”a was invited to officiate at the wedding of a famous and influential family. The President of the State of Israel at the time, who supported Shabbat desecration as a result of his lack of Torah values and education (and did not heed the special rabbinical group which consisted of Hagaon Harav Yitzchak Nissim, Hagaon Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Hagaon Harav Betzalel Zolty, and Maran Shlit”a who came to speak to him about this matter), was also present at this wedding. The groom notified Maran Shlit”a that he wished to invite the President to serve as a witness. Maran Shlit”a replied that he would not be a witness and that he himself would choose witnesses who were valid. When the family then proceeded to persuade Maran Shlit”a to allow the President to serve as a witness, he told them, “If you will not listen to me, find another rabbi to officiate at your wedding.” They replied, “Do not be angry at us.” Maran Shlit”a told them, “I am not angry but it is obligatory according to Torah law that the witnesses be valid.”
Maran Shlit”a then chose another valid witness and he acted as the second witness, at which point he performed the Chuppah ceremony in accordance with Torah law.
