Halacha Date: 14 Av 5773 July 21 2013
Tomorrow (Monday) is Tu Be’av (the Fifteenth of Av) which is connected to the ides of marriage, as we have discussed in the previous Halacha.
Getting Married to an Individual with No Connection to Torah
Our Sages teach us (Pesachim 49b): “Whoever marries off his daughter to an ignoramus is tantamount to binding her up and placing her in front of a lion.” (This means that if one marries off his daughter to a man who is not Torah and Mitzvot observant, it is as though he has tied her up and placed her in front of a lion.) The Gemara explains that the detriment of marrying an ignoramus (an individual who mocks Mitzvah observance and has no connection to Torah study) is not only on a spiritual level; rather, even on a physical and material level, this is not in the woman’s best interests.
Great care must be taken regarding this matter whether the father is responsible for his daughter or if the woman is on her own and responsible for herself. A woman should not be persuaded to marry a man who is not adequately Mitzvah observant, for he will almost certainly not keep the laws of family purity after the wedding and it is also very likely that the woman may follow in her husband’s footsteps and, G-d-forbid, treat Torah and Mitzvot lightly. Other issues may result as well.
Maran Harav Ovadia Yosef Shlit”a writes that even if the young man promises to repent and become a “Ba’al Teshuva,” he should not be believed unless he actually comes through and proves himself with actions for a sensible amount of time (see Responsa Yechave Da’at, Volume 5, Chapter 61).
The Young Man Should Possess Fear of Heaven and Positive Character Traits
When searching for a marriage partner, every Jewish woman should pay attention that the perspective husband fears Heaven and dedicates set times for Torah study. A woman should not be led astray by petty things, such as good looks, wealth, or any other knowledge besides for Torah knowledge. The primary attribute to look for is that the young man possesses fear of Heaven so that they may build a solid and faithful home among the Jewish nation, a home which Hashem will rest His presence in and an environment in which to raise children in the true Torah path. It is likewise important to ascertain that the young man has positive character traits and mannerisms which will engender years of peace and harmony, for it is very difficult to live with someone with a bad and impolite character. Above all, one must pray copiously to Hashem in order to be successful in this area of marriage.
