In the previous Halachot, we have discussed the topic of the Mitzvah to rebuke one’s fellow.
When one rebukes a sinner, one must take care not to shame him when it is unnecessary to do so. The Midrash Rabba (Parashat Shemini) states in the name of Rabbi Yudan that it took King Solomon seven years to construct the Bet Hamikdash and all those years, he did not drink wine. When the day of the inauguration of the Bet Hamikdash arrived, King Solomon married the daughter of Pharaoh. On that day, two joyous events coincided: One was the inauguration of the Bet Hamikdash and the second was the festivities of King Solomon’s marriage to the daughter of Pharaoh.
That night, King Solomon drank wine in honor of his wedding. Before going to sleep, he placed the keys to the Bet Hamikdash under his pillow with the intention of waking up early the next morning and opening the Bet Hamikdash so that the Kohanim would be able to bring the morning Tamid offering.
The daughter of Pharaoh did something shrewd and caused King Solomon to believe that the sun had not yet risen. He then continued sleeping until the fourth hour of the day. As everyone waited for the king to bring the keys to open the Bet Hamikdash, his mother, Bat Sheva, entered his bedroom and chastised him harshly for what had happened. At the same time, Yarov’am ben Nevat gathered one-thousand people from his tribe and likewise publicly rebuked and denigrated King Solomon. Hashem told him, “Why do you rebuke him and shame him publicly? I swear that you shall taste the sovereignty that Solomon enjoys (i.e. that Yarov’am would also be a king) and you will not be able to withstand the test of the kingdom!”
Similarly, our Sages taught (Sanhedrin 101b), “Why was Yarov’am ben Nevat punished? Because he rebuked King Solomon publicly.” This is what our Sages meant when they taught (Avot, Chapter 2), “Do not judge your friend until you reach his place.”
Furthermore, the Gemara (ibid. 102b) relates that Rav Ashe was expounding in his class about three kings who have no share in the World to Come. He concluded the discussion with Yarov’am and Achav and he said, “Tomorrow, we will begin the class by discussing our friend, Menashe (king of Yehuda, son of King Chizkiyahu).
That night, Menashe appeared to Rav Ashe in a dream and told him, “Do you refer to me as your friend and the friend of your father? Tell me, when you cut the bread after reciting the Hamotzi blessing, which part of the loaf do you begin cutting from?” Rav Ashe replied, “I do not know.” Menashe then told him, “You do not even know where to cut the bread from and you refer to me as your friend?” Rav Ashe then replied, “Please teach me!” Menashe told him, “One should cut the bread from the place it crusts and is most well-baked, in honor of the blessing.” Rav Ashe then inquired, “Since you are so wise, why did you worship idols?” Menashe replied, “If you would have lived in my generation, you would have raised the hem of your robe from between your feet so that it would be easier for you to run after me to go worship idols (due to the fierce desire present in that generation to engage in idol worship).
This story likewise illustrates the idea that one should not judge one’s fellow until one reaches his place.
