Question: Is it permissible to flatter those who are not Torah and Mitzvah observant?
Answer: The Gemara (Nedarim 22a) records an incident where a great Talmudic sage by the name of Ullah emigrated to Israel from Babylon along with two other people who accompanied him. In the middle of the journey, a fight broke out between these two individuals and escalated to a point where one of them rose up and killed the other. The murderer then turned to Ullah and asked him, “Did I act properly?” Ullah replied, “Yes.” When Ullah arrived in Israel, he told Rabbi Yochanan all that had happened and then asked him, “Did I strengthen the hands of sinners (by commending the murderer)?” Rabbi Yochanan replied, “You saved your life by doing so!” This means that since there was a legitimate concern that this murderer may have killed Ullah as well, he was correct in playing along with the murderer as though his actions were correct.
We can derive from the above Gemara that besides for dangerous or life-threatening situations, one may not flatter the wicked. For instance, if one sins and causes the public to sin but he donates money to Yeshivot, the heads of these Yeshivot may not tell this individual, “You are a great person and all your actions are excellent.” Although they may commend him for his generosity, it is nevertheless forbidden to commend him in general and give him the feeling that he is a righteous person.
Indeed, the Gemara (Sotah 41b) states Rabbi Shimon ben Pazi says that one may flatter the wicked in this world and he proceeds to support his words. Nevertheless, Rabbi Levi and the other Talmudic sages quoted in the above Gemara maintain that it is forbidden to flatter the wicked. Flattering the wicked is such a grave sin that the Gemara (ibid. 42a) states, “Four categories of people will not greet the Divine Presence: The class of cynics, the class of flatterers, the class of liars, and the class of slanderers.”
Indeed, the Gemara (ibid.) states that regarding those who flatter the wicked, the verse states, “One who says to a wicked man ‘You are righteous’ shall be cursed by peoples and execrated by nations.”
Maran Rabbeinu Ovadia Yosef zt”l writes in his Sefer Anaf Etz Avot (page 192) that nevertheless, it is a Mitzvah to rebuke the wicked gently and there is no need or benefit in protesting their actions sternly.
He writes that immediately following the above verse in Mishlei, King Solomon continues, “And it shall be pleasant to those who rebuke and upon them shall come blessings of good.” The Sefer Meulefet Sappirim explains the juxtaposition of these two verses to mean that although it is forbidden to flatter the wicked, if one does so in order to bring them closer to the Torah, this is permitted. For instance, if one tells a wicked person, “You are an intelligent person whose good name precedes him. It is not befitting for you to act in such a manner since it is a violation of Torah law.” It is for this reason that the verse concludes, “And it shall be pleasant to those who rebuke” meaning that one must make sure one’s words are pleasant so that they have the desired effect on the listener.
A famous singer, one of the most renowned in Israeli, non-religious culture (a member of the Gaon family, a well-known family in Jerusalem), would come and pray with Maran Rabbeinu Ovadia Yosef zt”l. Since his father had passed away and he was a traditional Jew, this singer would arrive every morning to pray and recite Kaddish in his father’s memory. One day, Maran zt”l called him over and told him, “I bought you a pair of Rabbeinu Tam Tefillin so you can begin to don them like many other members of our synagogue.” In this way, Maran zt”l spoke gently and pleasantly to him and others like him in order to bring them closer to the Torah. Maran zt”l sincerely loved them, for most non-religious Jews in our times do not do so out of malicious intent; rather, it is a result of coercion by the Evil Inclination combined with decades-long ignorance. Maran zt”l would therefore always hope that the entire Jewish nation would repent fully, for every Jew has a spark of holiness within his heart.
May Hashem grant us the opportunity to see the true beauty and glory of the authentic Jewish tradition awakening within the hearts of all of our Jewish brethren and we shall then merit seeing the arrival of our righteous Mashiach amid much joy and tranquility, Amen.
