Halacha for Sunday 20 Sivan 5782 June 19 2022

“Educate the Lad According to his Own Way”

In the previous Halachot, we have discussed the fundamentals of the prohibition to cut down a fruit tree. Included in this prohibition is what the Rambam (Hilchot Melachim, Chapter 6) writes: “Not only trees (is one forbidden to destroy), rather, anyone who breaks vessels, tears clothing, demolishes a building, plugs up a stream, or disposes of food in a destructive manner transgresses the prohibition of ‘You shall not destroy.’” The Magid Mishneh explains his words in this way as well. We shall now discuss another related topic.

Educate the Lad in his Own Way
The verse in Mishlei (22, 6) states: “Educate the lad according to his own way; even when he grows old, he shall not deviate from it.” What this means is that the character traits and nature of the child must be taken into consideration when educating him. This means that there is no set “model” used to educate every Jewish child; rather, every child has a unique nature and character traits which must be assessed and based on which he should be educated.

Consideration for a Child’s Nature
Indeed, the great Vilna Gaon explains that King Solomon meant that since there are things which are nearly impossible for a person change, as the Gemara (Shabbat 156a) states that one who is born in the zodiac of Jupiter shall be righteous and one born in the zodiac of Mars will spill blood, the child’s temperament and nature should be taken into careful consideration and only then should he be educated. For instance, if his nature calls for him to spill blood, his talents should be channeled to positive outlets, such as training him to be a Mohel (ritual circumciser) or Shochet (ritual slaughterer), as opposed to, G-d-forbid, him becoming a bandit or murderer.

Giving the Child an Opportunity to Release His Natural Tendencies
Besides for having to take a child’s nature into consideration regarding his future, our Sages have also taught us that one must also take into consideration a child’s childish tendencies as well in order to allow him to release his tendencies in a beneficial way. Similarly, our Sages teach us in Masechet Yoma (78b) that Abaye’s mother instructed him what to pay attention to when raising a child. Among other things, she told him that when a child begins to grow, he should be given vessels to break. This was the practice of Rabba who would buy cracked and inexpensive clay vessels for his son to break for his enjoyment, as Rashi explains, “To provide him with vessels to break in order to fulfill his desire.”

Destroying and Breaking Vessels for Educational Purposes
Seemingly, based on what we have learned, there is a Torah prohibition to break vessels unnecessarily. If so, how could Rabba allow himself to provide his son with clay vessels to break unnecessarily? Indeed, Hagaon Rabbeinu Yosef Haim in his Sefer Torah Lishmah (Chapter 401) was asked whether or not it is prohibited to give children cheap vessels to break. Rabbeinu Yosef Haim replied that there is no prohibition of “You shall not destroy” involved here, based on the Gemara in Masechet Yoma which we have quoted, for our Sages have entered the mind of the child, who needs to break clay vessels, and believed that in order to grow up in a healthy way, the child must do this in order to help him express his negative traits in a harnessed fashion. Thus, as long as there is some tangible necessity for this, especially when the vessels are inexpensive, there is no prohibition here, for the Torah prohibits doing so only in a “destructive manner."

8 Halachot Most Popular

Shofar Blowing

There is a positive Torah commandment to hear the Shofar blasts on Rosh Hashanah, as the Torah states, “A day of blasts shall it be for you.” It is forbidden to speak between the various sets of Shofar blasts and this is certainly the case during the time the Shofar is actually being sou......

Read Halacha

 The “Shehecheyanu” Blessing

Our Sages teach us (Eruvin 40b) that one should recite the “Shehecheyanu” blessing upon seeing a new fruit that renews once a year. Even if one sees this fruit in the hands of another person or on the tree, one should recite the “Shehecheyanu” blessing. Nevertheless, the P......

Read Halacha

So that We May Refrain from the Injustice of Our Hands

During the Ne’ilah prayer, the prayer that culminates all the Days of Awe recited towards the conclusion of Yom Kippur, we state: “And You, Hashem our G-d, have given us this Yom Kippur etc. for pardon, forgiveness, and atonement so that we may refrain from the injustice of our hands and......

Read Halacha

Parashat Naso in the Diaspora

(From the teachings of Maran Rabbeinu Ovadia Yosef ztvk”l) (written by his grandson HaRav Yaakov Sasson Shlit”a) (translated by our dear friend Rav Daniel Levy Shlit”a, Leeds UK) Trading Places! The Parashah states, “The sacred offerings of each individual remain his ......

Read Halacha


Repenting for Speaking Lashon Hara and Rendering a Mistaken Halachic Ruling

Question: If I have spoken Lashon Hara (evil slander) about my friend, must I confront him and tell him what I have done in order to request his forgiveness? Also, what is the law regarding a rabbi who has ruled stringently on a matter when, in fact, there is actually room for leniency, must he ask ......

Read Halacha

Some Details Regarding the Prayers of the Days of Awe

“Hashem Wants Our Heart” One should try to focus as much as possible on one’s prayers throughout the year, especially during the Days of Awe, and not pray hastily, G-d-forbid. Rather, one should calmly, with utmost concentration, and in a supplicating manner. We must remember t......

Read Halacha

Rosh Hashanah Which Coincides With Shabbat

This coming year (5787), Rosh Hashanah will fall out this coming Shabbat and Sunday, G-d-willing. Let us discuss several unique laws relevant to this year. “Bameh Madlikin” When Rosh Hashanah coincides with Shabbat, Kabbalat Shabbat is recited before Arvit; however, the “Bameh ......

Read Halacha

Transferring Another’s Judgment Into the Hands of Heaven

Question: Is it correct that one may not transfer another’s judgment into the hands of Heaven, i.e. requesting that Hashem punish an individual who caused me harm if I am correct? Answer: When our matriarch Sarah saw that she was barren, she gave her maidservant, Hagar, to her husband Avrah......

Read Halacha