Question: Is one obligated to wash one’s hands with “Mayim Acharonim” (final waters) at the conclusion of every bread meal and are women obligated to do so as well?
Answer: Mayim Acharonim, meaning water poured onto one’s fingertips until the second joint of one’s fingers at the conclusion of a bread meal before Birkat Hamazon, is halachically obligatory. Besides for the fact that our Sages enacted that one must wash with Mayim Acharonim following a bread meal, there are also several deep and mystical reasons behind this washing according to the great Mekubalim. One is therefore obligated to wash with Mayim Acharonim after a bread meal and this is indeed the prevalent custom as opposed to some who act leniently in this regard. This is likewise the consensus of the vast majority of Poskim. In the words of Maran Ha’Shulchan Aruch (Chapter 181, Section 1): “Mayim Acharonim is obligatory.”
Similarly, women must also wash their fingertips with Mayim Acharonim. Although there were many women in Ashkenazi countries who customarily did not observe washing with Mayim Acharonim and several Poskim justified this custom, nevertheless, most Poskim agree that women are completely equal to men in their obligation regarding Mayim Acharonim about which our Sages expounded the verse “And you shall sanctify yourselves” which refers to Netilat Yadayim (hand-washing before the meal) “And you shall be holy” which refers to Mayim Acharonim. This was indeed the opinion of Hagaon Harav Yosef Chaim Zonnenfeld zt”l, Hagaon Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l, and Maran Rabbeinu Ovadia Yosef zt”l. We have merited seeing several elderly Sephardic women who acted stringently regarding Mayim Acharonim and never thought of treating this issue lightly based on how they had been educated by their righteous mothers in the diaspora.
One should not use too much water for Mayim Acharonim; however, one should make sure to wash the fourteen joints of one’s fingers. If one’s hands are soiled, one should wash them in order to remove the filth with the intention that this washing not be for Mayim Acharonim and then once one’s hands are clean, one should wash them with a small amount of water as Mayim Acharonim. The Mishnah Berura (ibid. Subsection 4) writes: “It bothers me to see many people who are careful to wash for Mayim Acharonim but they do not fulfill their obligation at all because they only put a few drops of water on their fingertips and the water does not even reach the first joint of the finger. Sometimes, they suffice by merely touching the water when, in fact, according to the law, one must wash until at least the second joint of the fingers.” Nevertheless, one need not pour this water onto one’s fingers using a vessel and doing so from the faucet is sufficient.
One should not wash one’s fingers with Mayim Acharonim over the ground, for this will cause an evil spirit to rest on the ground and cause one who passes over this water injury or damage. Rather, one should wash with Mayim Acharonim into a vessel or into the sink.
