Question: Is it halachically correct to hold a “Bat Mitzvah” celebration for a girl on the day she becomes obligated in Mitzvot (i.e. at the age of twelve), as is indeed customary to do for a boy on the day he becomes obligated in Mitzvot (i.e. at the age of thirteen)?
Answer: Before we begin discussing the actual question, we must stress that this entire discussion only applies when the celebration is being held in the spirit of the Torah by keeping the guidelines of modesty and preventing mixed dancing for the entire duration of the celebration. It is also preferable that there be someone present who will speak words of Torah to those in attendance as is customary, and in this way this celebration shall be considered a “Mitzvah meal” and will cause Hashem to be glad.
Since, unfortunately, many hold Bar Mitzvah celebrations in different way which result in many prohibitions, Hagaon Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l writes that if he had the ability, he would discontinue the idea of Bar Mitzvah celebrations customary in America completely, as these celebrations do not cause anyone to come closer to Torah and Mitzvah observance; on the contrary, many times they actually lead to severe prohibitions, such as Shabbat desecration and the like. Later on in the same question when the Rabbi was asked about Bat Mitzvah celebrations for girls, he replied that there is no Mitzvah in holding such celebrations and such celebrations are not considered a “Mitzvah meal” in any way and can only be considered like any other birthday party, which certainly cannot be considered a “Mitzvah meal.”
However, Maran Harav Ovadia Yosef Shlit”a disagrees with the opinion of Hagaon Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l and writes that although one must be exceedingly careful that no prohibitions are transgressed during these celebrations in the slightest, nevertheless, when such celebrations are held in accordance with Halacha, it is indeed a “Mitzvah meal.” Indeed, a Bat Mitzvah celebration is equal to a Bar Mitzvah celebration as the Maharshal writes that there is no greater “Mitzvah meal” than a Bar Mitzvah celebration which gives thanks and praise to Hashem Who allowed this lad to become obligated in Mitzvot which allow him entry into the World to Come. He proceeds to bring sources to this point from the Gemara. The same would apply to a girl on the day she becomes obligated in the Mitzvot and there is certainly reason to hold a celebration and a festive meal on this day and this will indeed be considered a “Mitzvah meal.” Rabbeinu Yosef Haim of Baghdad writes similarly and adds that it is proper for the girl to wear a new garment on this day so that she may recite the “Shehecheyanu” blessing on it and have in mind that the blessing should apply to the joy of her entry into Mitzvot as well.
