In the previous Halacha we have explained the basic laws of the order of the Zimun before Birkat Hamazon, i.e. if three or more men eat a bread meal together, they must perform a Zimun before reciting Birkat Hamazon.
Clearly, when we refer to three individuals, we are referring to three adults, i.e. from the age of thirteen and above. However, three children may not perform a Zimun before Birkat Hamazon.
If two adults and one child under the age of thirteen are eating together, the Rishonim disagree whether or not the child can be included in the Zimun. According to the Rif and Rambam, even a young child may be included in a Zimun, both with regards to a Zimun of three or a Zimun of ten (when Hashem’s name is mentioned in the Zimun as we have written in the previous Halacha). Nevertheless, even according to the opinion of the Rif and Rambam, only a child who is old enough to understand that we recite blessings to Hashem should be included in Zimun. However, a child so young that he does not understand the concept of Who we recite blessings to cannot be included even in a Zimun of three. (Indeed, according to Rabbeinu Tam, even an infant in his crib can be included in a Zimun, however, most Rishonim reject this view and the Halacha does not follow him in this instance.)
According to the Rosh, however, only a boy who has reached the age of thirteen can be included in a Zimun; a child cannot be included in a Zimun even if he knows to Whom we direct our blessings. The Rama (in Chapter 199) rules in accordance with the opinion of the Rosh and this is indeed the Ashkenazi custom.
Nevertheless, Maran Ha’Shulchan Aruch rules in accordance with the opinion of the Rif and Rambam, for this is indeed the way of Maran to rule in accordance with the majority opinion among the three pillars of halachic authority: the Rif, Rambam, and Rosh. Thus, since both the Rif and Rambam agree that a child can be included in a Zimun, the Halacha follows their opinion. The Sephardic custom is indeed to include a child in the Zimun made by two other adults who have eaten a bread meal.
We must now discuss the age a child can begin to be included in a Zimun according to Maran. The Rif writes, “Even if he (the child) is nine or ten, as long as he knows to Whom we bless.” However, the Rambam writes that even if the child is seven or eight he may be included in a Zimun.
Maran Ha’Bet Yosef clarifies the opinion of the Rif and writes that when the Rif wrote nine or ten, he did not mean this age specifically, for the Rambam writes the age of seven or eight and they do not seem to be disagreeing. Thus, any child who knows to Whom we recite blessings may be included in a Zimun beginning from the age of seven or eight, depending on his own level of intelligence.
Thus, halachically speaking, according to Maran Ha’Shulchan Aruch, any child who understands to Whom we bless may be included in a Zimun, provided that he is at least seven years old.
Although originally Maran zt”l wrote in his Yabia Omer, Volume 2 that one should not answer Amen to the blessing recited by a child under nine years old, for only from this age can we be assume that he knows to Whom we bless (and it seems that the same would apply to inclusion in a Zimun since we are blessing together with him, it must be a blessing worthy of answering Amen to it), nevertheless, in his Yabia Omer, Volume 8, he adds that this only applies to a child who is not especially sharp, as was the case in previous generations. However, in our times when all children learn about the subject of blessings in school and it is almost impossible to find even a child who eventually goes out to work and does not know to Whom we bless, we can assume that every child from the age of six knows to Whom we bless.
Parents should train their children to clean themselves well after using the facilities, for if they do not clean themselves in accordance with Halacha, their blessings are disqualified, Amen should not be answered after hearing their blessings, and they cannot be included in a Zimun. Thus, if one knows that a specific child is not clean, he may not be included in a Zimun and Amen should not be answered to his blessings.
