Halacha for Thursday 21 Av 5782 August 18 2022

Placing One’s Hands on One’s Children’s Heads

Question: When parents bless their children on Shabbat night or a rabbi blesses his students, is it more correct to place both hands on the head of the child/student or should one place only one hand?

Answer: Yesterday, we explained that it is forbidden for a non-Kohen to ascend the podium and bless the congregation with Birkat Kohanim during the Chazzan’s repetition of the Amida, for this blessing belongs to the Kohanim alone. Let us now discuss the aforementioned question:

Placing Both Hands
When the Kohanim bless the congregation, they raise both of their hands towards the heads of the congregation. If so, it would seem forbidden for a non-Kohen to place both hands on the head of someone he is blessing.

The Behavior of the Vilna Gaon
In earlier generations, there was a custom where people attending a wedding feast would bless one another while placing both hands on each other’s heads while doing so. The Sefer Torah Temima raises a concern that this custom seems to be forbidden, for one may not raise one’s hands in blessing as the Kohanim do. He concludes that he heard from a reliable source that at the time of the wedding ceremony of Hagaon Harav Yechezkel Landau, who was a halachic authority in Vilna, the great Gaon Rabbeinu Eliyahu of Vilna blessed him but only placed one of his hands on his head. When asked why he did this, he responded that the only place we find a blessing using both hands is by the Kohanim in the Bet Hamikdash.

In his work Tosefet Beracha, he explains the Vilna Gaon’s behavior by saying that it is forbidden to place both hands on the head of the individual being blessed, for Birkat Kohanim may not be performed by a non-Kohen. This is what the Gaon was concerned about when he placed only one hand on the head of the individual being blessed.

The Opinion of Maran zt”l
Nevertheless, Maran Rabbeinu Ovadia Yosef zt”l writes that since this does not actually entail raising one’s hands as the Kohanim do, in addition to the fact that one is not intending to fulfill the Mitzvah of Birkat Kohanim, there is no prohibition whatsoever to place both hands on the head of the blessed individual. He writes that several great Geonim and righteous people behaved this way and placed both hands on the heads of individuals they were blessing. He adds that the behavior of the Vilna Gaon can be explained another way.

The Bottom Line
Halachically speaking, many great Mekubalim write that one should specifically place both hands on the head of the individual being blessed. Hagaon Ya’abetz concurs in his Siddur and writes that this was the practice of his father, the great Chacham Tzvi. He writes that there are both simple and esoteric reasons to support this practice and he rebuffs the opinion which maintains that one may bless using only one hand.

On the other hand, Hagaon Rabbeinu Chaim Palagi, in his Sefer Nefesh Kol Chai, quotes the Sefer Chemdat Yamim who writes that one should take care to bless using only one hand, more specifically the right one. He quotes the Ya’abetz we mentioned above who supports blessing with two hands, but he concludes that it is preferable to do so when possible, however, blessing with one hand is fine as well, as was the custom of several great luminaries throughout the generations. Indeed, this was the custom of Maran zt”l who would only place his right hand on the head of individuals he was blessing, as is the custom of most rabbis today. However, if a parent wishes to bless his/her children with both hands, especially on special occasions, such as the wedding of a child and the like, this is perfectly acceptable and according to the Chacham Tzvi and Ya’abetz, this is the appropriate way to bless all the time. Indeed, some great luminaries from the previous generation placed both hands on the head of Maran zt”l when they wished to bless him.

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